LYRICS
Sexual intercourse of course
Always done sideways
In the earliest of days
Square-dance style
All the while
Go for a fling and swing….
Swing your partner round and round
Until the genitalia are found
Cheese grater grip on your appendage
May require a bandage
So, listen…
Three hundred and eighty million years ago
They didn’t know
About the creation of the missionary position
There was a trick to guide the slide
Then, giddy-up for the ride
ABOUT THE SONG
Chords — Em7 Esus4 Em
144 Beats Per Minute / Country
Inspired by this news story:
First act of sexual intercourse ‘was done sideways, square-dance style’
Fossilised features of antiarch fish suggest that early intercourse was not the smoothest of affairs, with males faced with the task of steering their bony L-shaped organs between twin genital plates that adorned the females like tiny cheese graters.
The male’s organ was nearly as long as his body and fixed rigid, leading paleontologists to finally work out that the creature’s small, jointed arm-like appendages were probably of help in achieving the correct position.“Fundamentally, they could not have done it in the missionary position,” said John Long, professor of palaeontology at Flinders University in Adelaide. “The very first act of copulation was done sideways, square-dance style.”
Written and recorded West Chester, Chester County, Pennsylvania, USA.
Daniel — Vocals, Keyboards
From the album Dawning Of The Day
by Daniel Brouse